The Ten Commandments of HGC

And lo, in the sixth year of his reign didst El Presidente Gregor ascended Mount Hamptonius and didst speak unto Glod. And Glod said unto him “Let there be a number of commandments for the ruling of your club, and let them number ten. Yea: ten commandments shall there be, and in their number shall they be ten. Not nine, nor eleven. Twelve is right out of it. And I shall give unto thee these commandments” But El Presidente didst understand not, for Glod was a Dwarf, and spake unto him in Khazalid, the tongue of the Dwarves.

But yea, didst Glod give unto him two stone tablets, graven with the words of his will, and El Presidente didst take them to the wise ones known as Pete and Owen, and they didst scribe and toil many moons to translate the following:

1: Thous shalt not use the wheelie chairs lest we be forced to confine you to a wheel chair with shattered shins.

2: Thou shalt not use the phone, for the community center's rulers object violently.

3: Thous shalt not use the kitchen lest it explodes, and anyway, our booking covers it not.

4: Thous shalt not damage the terrain, for it has been labored over long by skilled artisans with short tempers who shall smite thee hip and thigh if you do.

5: Thou shalt remove items of terrain which rest on top of those which you seek rather than dragging that which you seek out past that which is above it.

6: Thou shalt not smash other people's belongings. Nor shall you steal another gamers miniatures, nor shall you open another gamers personal case without permission. Those found to be doing so shall be dealt with severely.

7: Thou shalt pay five Australian dollars on every occasion which you are present. Thou shalt not avoid this sacred duty, or thou shalt be smitten down with mumps.

8: Thous shalt clean up after thyself.

9: Thou shalt use terrain which matches the table cloth upon which it is placed, for it causes a state of mental anguish in those who have made it to see it otherwise.

10: Thou shalt not consume the flesh of the chihuahua.