In late 1998 I was in Mil Sims looking at miniatures when I overheard a discussion between a boy and his mother. He was pointing out the which models he was after, and she was told him, “You need to find someone to play with first”. This struck me as kind of sad, and got me to thinking afterwards: why was there no games club in our area?

 It was true that there were several games clubs around town, but Melbourne is a very big place, and they were spread far and wide. I lived in Bentleigh, and the nearest club to me was DWARF¹ in Dandenong – a good 20-30 minute drive away, and a far longer and more difficult journey for anyone unlucky enough not to have a car. The next-closest club was in the centre of the city, above the Games Workshop store in Centrepoint Mall² – almost as hard to get to, and far harder to find.

I was struck by something terrible today. I was idly thumbing through Citadel Catalogue Section Four¹ and I stumbled upon something. The current range of Dwarf miners are in there. Now I don't know exactly when the miners where designed, but Section Four was published in 1994. Doesn't that seem an unusually long life span for a miniature? Sixteen years? Game systems don;t last that long. Space marines are replaced every five or so.

Now let's get something straight - I have nothing against old miniatures per se. Some of them a truly awesome, and I would be proud to own them. The old Beastman in bone armour is a favourite, as are the whole range of 1980's familiars (Of which I own the book on legs. No army should leave home without one.) Some of them are fairly silly (The old Slaan² frogman warriors, the Imperial Guard beast men, and the dreaded Zoats³ spring to mind), but still fun. What I object to is GW's blithe arrogance in assuming we will be content with a whole range of shiny new miniatures, and then some bozzos from '94 who they can't be bothered updating.

As the Hampton Community Center is closed over the Chrismas-New Years break, the club's not on either. Saturday the 9th of December is the last day it's on this year. The club should start up again around the beginning of February - check back closer to then for more details.

As I have said in a previous article, Warhammer has been changing over the years. This should hardly be surprising, as everything changes sooner or later. The years go by, editions come and go, players drift into and out of the hobby, and miniature ranges grow old and are replaced. All of this is to be expected, as things have to change if the game is to grow and retain the interest of those already involved. However, for all that there are many positives involved in these changes, there are also some negatives. More specifically, there are some armies that become victims of the process.

(Or A Rant Against Steam Tanks)

 

I hate Steam Tanks. I hate those hulking, clanking, steaming, grinding, armour-clad monstrosities because they seem to be a regular fixture in many Empire players’ armies, and the only reason not everyone uses one seems to be that not everyone owns one. I hate the fact that every single Empire army I have ever fought in a tournament has had one. I hate them because they’re huge, practically indestructible, and cause Terror for my troops. I hate them because random silly people keep pointing out that any army can field one, because nowhere does it actually say that it must be used in the Empire army. Most of all, I hate them because they seem to break every rule in Warhammer. Nobody can deliberately move out of combat except a Steam Tank. Nobody can inflict up to 15 strength 6 impact hits on a unit except a Steam Tank. Nobody uses the same damage table as a castle except a Steam Tank. We hates it!