Ok, here's my report because you all wanted it. You know you did.

Army

Black orc Warboss on wyvern with Screamin Sword, Boss Hat, Battle Brew, Sheild and Heavy Armour

Two night gobbo shaman with a scroll each

Two units of 20 Night Gob archerers with full command and fanatics

20 Savage boys with two hand weapons and sheilds- full command

25 Big 'uns with two hand weaposn and sheilds. Full command and Spirit totem

20 Black orcs with full command and sheilds

Two units of 5 spiders with musicians

Stone Thrower with Bully

Doom Diver

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Game 1

I started off playing Greg's Woodelves. In typical woodelf style, they managed to get in and around me and get me good and paranoid. His general was determined to send a hail of doom at mine, who was determined to frenzy charge something useful and not just get baited by a unit of glade guard, which led to a bit of dancing. Eventually he got the hail off, and then hid, so I said 'bugger this' and flew off to eat some wardancers with the biguns.
The night goblins got beat down in a house by some dryads, but managed to flee to and rally in a nice position with my two spider units to potentially get the jump on some wild riders. I got said jump with spiders in the flank, but didn't kill the requisite 1 wild rider with 4 spiders and riders and lost there. Overall got bogged down and the Wood Elves got me. (5 points off a 19-1 Margain)

Result- 20/0 Loss

Game 2

Next I took on Dave Kelsalls solid yet simple night goblin army. Highlights include: A unit of spider managing to trigger 5 fanatics and not cop any hits. Fanatics triggering fanatics. Big uns and Black orcs ganging up on large block of globlins with their warboss. I beat them down and chose not to run, intending to let my boss finish them and earn me 500 points. The big uns couldn't hold it in and chased the little greenies into the ground. This was lucky, as my warboss who was just taking care of some spiders before eating the night goblin boss didn't manage to take care of them, and was spidered into the ground. How insulting. The black orcs got revenge, and the game ended up a win for me

Result- 16/4 Win

Game 3

Next I took on the might of brettonia with Richard Anear's Every-Flavour army. A convenient river (which I didn't place, so it doesn't count as cheating) divided the field, meaning I could funnel the knights quite nicely. The game opened with some precision stomping from gork, managing to kill four tree-bucket crew with four stomps, eliminating that threat quickly.
The spiders were worth their weight in gold, managing to divert the knights enough to mean I only took one lance the whole game, and that was into a block of night goblins who had already delivered the their payload. My wyvern managed to use a cunning waagh to alight himself with the bret general's unit, charging in and receiving a challenge form the (over) confident lord. I was all too willing to accept: the lord was accompanied by a BSB and damsel, with another damsel in the nearby questing knights. Suffice to say the lord was reduced to a shiny smear on the ground and and the grail nights he accompanied promptly fled. That was a whole lotta points for the wyvern. The battle ended up being a lot closer than I describe, but it was great fun and I gave Richard my top vote for sports.

Result- 12/8 Win

Dinner

Dinner started off strong with a VB, followed by a quick succession of bottomless cokes. I managed to break a BBQ burger, before overrunning into a Sundae with a giant wad of canned cream on top. I came out with a 20-0 win.

Game 4

I managed to land Dene as opponent 4, who is probably my most regular opponent. I enjoy playing dene because our games are always hard to pick. An early stoming on his outriders reduced them to a man, which inspired him to run forward and trigget fanatics. The other fanatics managed to wreck a unit of white wolves, clearing that flank. The black orcs danced with the steam tank and managed to get it to about 6 wounds before breaking (they hadn't sharpened their great choppas). The savage orcs sliced up the great sword, who didn't seem to notice and unsportingly refused to run away. The Big uns charged the swordsmen with BSB, magically so as to not attract a detachment but were quite harmless and the detachment joined in later ruining their day. My Lord Arrogantly charged the human equivalent in the rear, but the nearmy wizard rudely walked away, reducing my combat effectiveness. The human killed my boss, making hte wyvern stand his ground. The knights were invincble and shrugged off all attempts to avenge my lord.

Result- 20-0 Loss (I think)

Game 5

I drew Anthony Chen for this game, and prepared to repeat my win form the week before. My Big Uns ran off early on due to a terror-charging stegadon. 1 block down. My wyvern managed to weave it's way around the back of the 3 saurus blocks, causing them all to reposition so as to not get him in the rear. Eventually, the wyvern got a flank on a unit and, with the savage orcs in support thanks to a hand of gork, use three bonus S8 attack to flatten the ska(r) vet and break the unit. He persued into another unit of saurus. Anthony moved his shaman up to portent them, which I dispelled, bugt this gfame me another attack so I was back to 3 bonus. I managed to eat this unit as well (the general's) and moved in for the BSB's unit. My black orcs fared poorly against them, and copped a stegadon in the rear, wiping them out. The general charged the block for revenge, managing to break them, but they ran faster than he could fly, and he ended the game alone. The spiders danced with some kroxigor aound the objective, nullifying both the kroxigor and the objective

Result- 11-9 Loss

Game 6

For my last game, I drew Kelsall brother No. 2. (or 1, I'm not sure). Steve deployed his line opposite mine, but I stupidly didn't protect my artillery very well. Not that it mattered- it failed to do any damage even when it did fire... I let steve hav ethe fanatics which did dissapoitingly, then get drain lifed. Psych test screwed everyone up; he tried to charge my biguns with cold ones, and they stupify on him. Then I try to counter charge and get scared... His cunning counter charge set-ups really were the end of me, and I fell a slow, painful deathj. MY wyvern managed to get the charge off on his (it was hiding behind my biguns, but they ran off due to terror, exposing him to the charge. With two bonus attacks at S7, I thought I was in with a good chance to take out at least the general and maybe get the dragon to run off. Not so. He resisted my 6 S7 attacks somehow and both he and his beast took big mouth-fuls out of my boss and his wyvern, beating them up in only two turns at the cost of 1 wound on the elf lord. Sigh...

Result 20-0 Loss. I can't remember if we calculated it, but most of my stuff was dead, so it wasn't really required.

A fun weekend was had by all, or at least by me. Thanks for everyone involved, hope to see you all again soon (most of you I will).

And the moral of the weekend? Your face is the moral of the weekend!