The Warhammer world is changing, and players who left the hobby 10 years ago might not even recognize their own armies anymore. But are the changes all for the better?  

In the last few years I have discovered myself playing more and more games with my Orc and Goblin army. I think this is largely due to the fact that I tend to play fairly regularly in tournaments, and as such I tend to use the army for which I have the most miniatures painted. Certainly I assumed that this was the main reason, and thought nothing more of it. But then in the last few months I have started collecting a Dwarf army. Not just any army of Dwarfs, however – the majority of the miniatures that I have collected for the army are very old. I have always liked the old Dwarf miniatures, and this I attributed to my dislike of largely single-pose regiments (such as the current range of Dwarf Hammerers and Longbeards). This theory was supported by the fact that I do quite like the current plastic range, which are multi-pose and easily converted. Again, I was satisfied with this explanation and ceased to ponder the matter. I try not to probe too deeply into my own subconscious, as it scares me (and those around me)…

STRAY SHOT KILLS PRINT-SERVITOR!

You will have noticed that there was no edition of the Hive Bottom Tribune during the last week. This was due to the unfortunate demise of our Print-Servitor.

It all started when the Ladies of the Night accidentally 'rescued' Weird Simon from the Pit Bar and Grill. The Singlets rescued him two week ago, but the Ladies where out for blood. Last week, they ran into the Singlets in the streets of Slime Pit harbour, just outside the Hive Bottom Tribune offices. The battle was terrible and bloody - Amanda Bang, the Ladies' Heavy, was shot early on, falling from the toxichem tank she was standing atop. The Ladies retaliated with such startling ferocity that the Singlets lost their nerve and fled, but not before causing great damage.

ESCHERS RESCUE WRONG STRIPPER!

The Ladies of the Night clashed with Death Wears a Green Singlet last week while attempting to liberate the strippers at the Pit Bar and Grill.

“It's shameful to think of women being used as objects for the gratification of smelly, sweaty men,” said Vanessa Stab, leader of the Ladies, “We where attempting to rescue Plenty O'Toole, and bring her into the sisterhood.”

The Singlets, who own the Bar, met the Ladies in bloody combat, both sides inflicting casualties before the Eschers decided to make a tactical retreat with their rescued sister.

Much to the surprise of the Ladies the stripper was not Plenty O'Toole, but Singlet member Weird Simon! It appears that Weird Simon was in drag as part of a bet when the battle took place, and the Eschers mistook him for Ms. O'Toole in the melee.

“We'll be back for Plenty O'Toole,” Said Ms. Stabb, “We're not done with these chauvinist pigs yet.”

PEACE SHATTERED BY SCAVENGING SCUM

The week long peace which had settled like a blanket over the Slime Pit Harbour area was shattered yesterday when Heinrich's Heroes and the Ladies of the Night ran into each other while scavenging.

In a rare display of cunning tactics, the ladies made use of smoke grenades to cover their advance. Unfortunately, a lack of familiarity with the weapons combined with strong winds thwarted their attempts, and left them open to incoming fire.

Heinrich's Heroes made excellent use of their newly acquired needle sniper rifle, taking three unlucky ladies out of action at long ranges. The ladies retaliated with a long range heavy stubber burst which killed on of the Heroes outright. The Ladies eventually fled clutching their two lucky finds when both their leader, Amanda Stabb, and on of their shotgunners were downed by Heinrich's men.

NOT HEINRICH'S FINEST HOUR

Heinrich's Finest, new Orlock boys have been handed an ignominious defeat at the hands of the Ladies of the Night. The Orlocks and Eschers clashed in downtown Slime Pit Harbor early last week.

A protracted duel ensued between the two gangs heavies, both firing hundreds of rounds from their heavy stubbers. Accuracy was amazingly high, but the weapons proved extremely ineffective. Much more effective was the fusillade of short ranged scatter shot the Eschers pumped into three of the Orlocks taking cover behind a first floor re-enforcing buttress.

SHAM SLAMMERS SLAMMED BY GLAM!

Notorious muscle-men the Sham Slammers were surprised last week when they went out scavenging and got more than they bargained for. Out amidst the ruins and crud-tanks of Sump Pump Central they ran into those goddesses of glam, the Ladies of the Night. It was a short battle - the Goliaths, their brains obviously fogged by steroids, walked right into the line of fire of Vanessa Bang's heavy stubber. This was quickly followed by a lucky shotgun shot from Tara taking another Goliath down. The Slammers wisely chose to flee, leaving the girlz in possession of the field of battle.

GEODESIC XII BLOODBATH!

Geodesic XII, the newly discovered dome was the scene of a terrible bloodbath yesterday. Magos Caldrev, escorted by local Orlock gangs and a local Bounty Hunter was attacked by a motley coalition of outlaw scum desperate to claim the riches for themselves! The outlaw coalition consisted of Ratskins, escaped Pit Slaves and (reports have yet to be confirmed) possibly even the Ladies of the Night – local Escher heroines!

NEW DOME DISCOVERED!

A minor hive tremor in the vicinity of Ash Falls caused a major land slide last week. Residents of the settlement where astonished when the entire side of Mt. Pukastinkee broke off and collapsed, revealing the derelict remains of a maglev line. Their amazement could only be increased by the discovery that the maglev lines led to a lost dome! Enforcers set up a perimeter to prevent civilians from endangering themselves until an official investigation and exploration could be made. The dome is believed to be Geodesic XII, a dome which was lost over seven thousand years ago. Ancient hive maps designate it as a classified manufactorum dome.

HBT RETURNS!

After several years of absence from our streets,. The Hive Bottom Tribune is back! After the unfortunate incident of the exploding Soya-Chicken sandwich which destroyed our offices and press, it seemed that the Tribune was doomed to disappear. I, Shady Zeke the Hack, editor and owner of this fine paper was out of work, ruined, and forced to take up the wandering life of a prospector.